A PETITE DRAMA,
In One Act,
BY
BENJAMIN WEBSTER, ESQ.
AS FIRST PERFORMED AT THE
THEATRE ROYAL, NEW ADELPHI,
1859.
“Nassau Steam Press”—W. S. Johnson, 60, St. Martin’s Lane, Charing Cross, W.C.
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MR. WILLIAM PENN HOLDER. Old black body coat, plaid vest, black trousers, gray gaiters, black shoes, gray bald wig, gray hat with crape |
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MR. BENJAMIN WEBSTER. |
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MR. BEAUMONT FLETCHER (a Barrister and Dramatic Author). Black frock coat, fancy waistcoat |
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MR. BILLINGTON. |
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MR. BELGRAVE. Light blue long great coat, plaid trousers |
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MR. W. H. EBURNE. |
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JONES (Porter, &c., to the Adelphi Chambers). Livery coat (dark), white vest, black trousers |
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MR. MORELAND. |
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MISS CONSTANCE BELMOUR. Modern fancy dress |
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MISS HENRIETTA SIMMS. |
Time of Representation, 45 minutes.
EXPLANATION OF THE STAGE DIRECTIONS.
L. means first entrance, left. R. first entrance, right. S. E. L. second entrance, left. S. E. R. second entrance, right. U. E. L. upper entrance, left. U. E. R. upper entrance, right. C. centre. L. C. left centre. R. C. right centre. T. E. L. third entrance, left. T. E. R. third entrance, right. Observing you are supposed to face the audience.
SCENE I.—Mr. Beaumont Fletcher’s chambers in the Adelphi, handsomely furnished, doors R., L., and C. JONES discovered.
Jones (writing). To address the lady’s-maid of a marchioness is no trifling affair, especially in the present march of intellect, when the maids know more than the mistresses. One’s obliged not only to mind one’s stops, but one’s grammar. I have been nearly three-quarters of an hour now trying to round a period—I, who French-polish the boots of a dramatic author. Ought I to put “I was smitten,” or “I was struck with your charms?”—it’s very embarrassing—I must consult Mr. Fletcher. In my letter I must inclose the order he promised to procure for me; but if, with the order, I cannot conclude my letter——
Enter FLETCHER, C. door.
Fle. The devil take the theatre, and all the actresses into the bargain!
Jones. Has the rehearsal been unsatisfactory, sir?
Fle. This Miss Constance Belmour! this Miss Constance Belmour!
Jones. Sir!
Fle. Is it talent or is it temper?
Jones. Sir!
Fle. She was execrable.
Jones. Did you think, sir—
Fle. Hey! what? What do you say?
Jones. I was going to ask, sir, if you thought of the order?
Fle. What order?
Jones. The order, sir, that I asked you for this morning, for the lady’s-maid of a marchioness, whom I met at Cremorne. I suppose you forgot it, sir?
Fle. Oh! I had other matters to attend to.
Jones. Of course, sir; of course. Then I’ll go myself, sir—in your name, sir, I’m sure to get it sir, as you write in the newspapers. Only, sir, if you should want me, sir, you will please to recollect that I am obliged to go out.
Fle. Not one word of her part—not one, and the piece is to come out on Wednesday. It’s enough to drive one mad.
Jones. I have always said, sir, that you have never been done justice to, sir; yet you will persist in writing for these second-rate theatres. If I was you, sir, I would not write again till government built a legitimate theatre for scenery.
Fle. That’s your opinion, is it?
Jones. Yes, sir, and it’s the opinion of Miss Penelope, too.
Fle. And who’s Miss Penelope?
Jones. The lady’s-maid I mentioned just now, sir. When I told her your profession, sir, she immediately asked if you authorised the legitimate drama.
Fle. And you replied——
Jones